The Manliest Weekend Ever

What, oh what, to do with the lady out??

My girlfriend left town this weekend. This, consequently, presented itself as one of the rare opportunities to disrobe the garb of everyday civility and get back to the primeval ancestry of my forefathers, by drunkenly howling at the moon while peeing.

Which got me thinking…what would be the ultimate guy’s weekend?


Two days of nothing but unadulterated masculinity, the one free weekend away from the girlfriend, when you could truly indulge and partake in all the dignity and bravado that is the American Male.

Here’s a “Man’s Weekend Bucket List:” All the things you gotta cross off your list for a perfect girlfriendless weekend:

1) Eat Shitty:

Chili Cheese dogs and ice cream sandwiches for breakfast?

FUCK YES!

2) Ghostride your whip:

3) Burn Things:

A hobo fire in your living room can really liven up your Victorian decor!

4) Shoot Things:

5) Get a tattoo:

Nothing shows your commitment to your alma mater like melting skin!

6) Teabag your sworn enemy:

Anyone else notice that LSU/Alabama seems to be a cesspool of retardation?

7) Wrestle a bear:

Nuff said.

8) Whittle Shit:

You’re bound to have some extra time on your hands.

9) Start a Cult:

Hopefully, not too much time.

10) Build a Beeramid:

The male species’ rite of passage.

Follow these guidelines, and you’ll be sure to have the perfect Man’s Weekend!

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