FBB Week 5 Review: A Fairy Tale of Sorts

redemptionRedemption is oh so sweet. And never is the fruit finer than when you smear your girlfriend in some fantasy sports.

I became a God this weekend.

Being exalted to Grand Supreme Leader of the Worsham Apartment is a daydream I’ve often reveled in, during reminiscent moments of silence, pondering what the law of the land would be like if I, a mere mortal of a boyfriend, could somehow demonstrate to the Council my supreme knowledge and unwavering commitment to the mental battlefield of fantasy sport.

For far too long, Maiden Gwartney hath proposeth that she was indeed the immaculate receptor of the true knowledge of fantasy sport, residing quite humbly at the hand of The Great Matthew Berry. But, alas, by the grace of the ancient Scepter of Lineup Changes, so eloquently bequeathed to me upon the Mount of Shooting Percentages by the Great Matthew Berry himself, I was able to defeat the mighty Maiden Gwartney in a head-to-head battle to decide ultimate rule over the citizenry of all of the Worsham Apartment–us and our cat Rachael.

Not actually us. Just pretend I'm Jesus.

Not actually us. Just pretend I’m Jesus.

Victory did not come easily, as Maiden Gwartney absolutely refused to go down early. With two days of games left to play, Maiden Gwartney regaled thine ears with farces of a fanciful nature, reminding yours truly, after a few sips of a mimosa at no where close to brunch time, how she would ultimately best me in our competition for the eternal love of the fantasy god The Great Matthew Berry.

“Shenanigans!” I would cry, in a desperate attempt to trounce her ill-conceived and quite incendiary notions that she at all stood a chance.  We all know that fortune favors the one with the Scepter of Lineup Changes.

And on the seventh day, I rested as my nine players averaged 21 fantasy points, and the Maiden Gwartney was once again toppled in her bid for apartment supremacy.

THE END

bball wk 5 results

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One thought on “FBB Week 5 Review: A Fairy Tale of Sorts

  1. Pingback: Back to Reality: Fantasy Basketball and Joblessness | The Reality of Fantasy Sports

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