Tuesday Morning Relief: The 5 Stages of Not Making the Fantasy Playoffs

hopelessI missed the playoffs in the Literally Literate FFL this year by 4 pts.

A Ledarius Green TD could have sealed it for me. Would have clinched with a Michael Floyd trash time reception. If Keenan Allen didn’t fumble and Delanie Walker didn’t get concussed, I’d be sittin’ pretty right now.

2013 STANDINGS

Instead, I’m playing for fifth. And since I finished fifth, here are the 5 signs of grief commonly discussed in psychology.

Step 1. Denial

This stage includes feelings of shock, numbness, and disbelief. When loss first comes, most of us have a hard time believing “this is really happening.”

Dude! I put everything I f__king had into this season! This was gonna be my comeback year, where I went from last to first. I mean, I was at least in the running for the playoffs! I actually did analysis this summer and kept spreadsheets of my draft and performance this year. I made f__king rankings from scratch each week to help evaluate my competitors. THIS CAN’T BE REAL!

Step 2. Anger

Anger can present itself in a variety of ways—anger at your loved one, at others, at God, at the world, at yourself.  And anger can be a difficult emotion to cope with.

F__k this s__t! F__k Darren Sproles. F__k Andrew Luck. F__k these fake ass helmets and all these concussions.

F__k the Packers. F__k the refs in the Washington game. F__k Steven Jackson. F__k Frank Gore.

And a BIG F__K YOU to Stevie Johnson!

Step 3. Bargaining

With bargaining, there’s a sense that we just want life back to the way it used to be. We wish we could go back in time, catch the illness sooner, see something we didn’t see. We may also feel guilty, focusing on “If only…”.

Four points?! FOUR POINTS?! I seriously coulda had this! I had three chances to seal the deal. Shoulda popped on Bobby Rainey that one week. I picked up Michael Floyd and didn’t start him, whyyyyyy? How could Alfred Morris get absolutely NO second half yards? Shane Vereen for Zac Stacy woulda put me over the top.

Step 4. Depression

Eventually grief will enter on a deeper level, bringing with it intense feelings of emptiness and sadness. We feel like we don’t care about much of anything and wish life would just hurry up and pass on by. Getting out of bed can be a huge burden, exhaustion and apathy can set in, and we may begin to wonder, “what’s the point?” for pretty much everything.

What’s the point of finishing the season? The very fact that a 6-7 team made it in ahead of me proves that this whole sport is absolute luck and bulls__t. I was last place the year before and fifth this year while only winning one more game. Why even bother obsessing with something that isn’t even based on skill? Why even make roster moves? Who cares anymore? F__k this season, man.

Step 5. Acceptance

The experience of “depression” is what leads to “acceptance”. Many people mistakenly believe that “acceptance” means we are “cured” or “all right” with the loss. But this isn’t the case at all. The loss will forever be a part of us, though we will feel it more some times than others. Acceptance simply means we are ready to try and move on—to accommodate ourselves to this world without our loved one.

Well, I did make a few good calls. Julius Thomas and Zac Stacy were nice. I picked up Alshon Jeffery but ended up giving him away. I was the first to hype up Justin Blackmon, who was solid while sober. I jumped on Keenan Allen and got a solid month or so of top ten play outta him. No one really saw Frank Gore being so solid at his age. I don’t know, I really wanted a shot at the belt this year, and all along I felt confident about my chances. Last year I got last, but only missed the playoffs by two games, and this year, I miss out by a mere 4 points. In all seriousness, I didn’t achieve my ultimate goal of the fantasy playoffs this year, but I did make incredible progress. Time to review my season and prepare for next year. Not before I beat the snot outta the consolation bracket, though!

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