Victory Never Hurt So Good: Baseball’s Top 10 Weirdest Injuries

Baseball victory

I finally won a fantasy baseball match up!

It only took five weeks.

Yes, now I’m 1-4 and have made it past the almighty first hurdle of the fantasy baseball season.

So far, I’m doing absolutely terrible in this public league, where most of the participants are barely participating. But with patience comes knowledge. I barely squeaked out this W, and it’s in large part to the two pickups I had on Sunday morning, the last day of the match up. I picked up Phil Hughes (Minn) and Tyson Ross (SD). They netted me 33 points, which was quickly negated by Tyler Skaggs’ -18 point poop sundae. I ended up winning by 5 points, and I know that that move had a lot to do with it.

The other factor in my victory?

Key points left on the table when Giants starting pitcher Matt Cain sliced his finger in the clubhouse kitchen whilst making a sandwich, and had to miss his April 29th start. It doesn’t appear to be too serious, but that one or possibly two starts for Cain resulted in just the right amount of points for me to get my first victory.

losers score

And Cain’s story got me thinking…

What are the craziest injuries the MLB has ever seen? I know the baseball season is long, and most guys will fake anything to get rest. But then there are those terribly embarrassing injuries no one ever wants leaked out or that are too bizarre to even begin to believe. And after doing some research, I’ve put together my list for the ten strangest injuries that have ever kept a ball player from the game–those super weird injuries too crazy to believe!

10. Moises Alou Rides Bike Over Son

moisesMoises Alou missed the 1999 season with a torn ACL after grappling with a treadmill during off-season conditioning. After rehabbing from that injury, he was soon able to handle more rigorous workouts, like jogging and biking. Unfortunately for Moises, however, his balance was not up to snuff, and he somehow managed to ride a bicycle over his son, re-aggravating his freshly rehabbed knee.

9. Wade Boggs’ Cowboy Boot Debacle

wade boggsIn 1986, early into the season, there was talk that Boggs could be the first hitter since Ted Williams in 1941 to hit for .400. Many believed he could do it, and as summer approached, he was hitting .404. A week later in Toronto on June 9, Boggs was attempting to take off a pair of cow boy points, using one foot to remove the boot on the opposite foot, when he fell and bruised his ribs, hitting them on the arm of a couch in the room. Boggs toughed it out for a few games, but eventually had to sit out to heal himself. He didn’t hit .400 that year, but he did go for .357.

8. Sammy Sosa’s Sneeze

Sammy-SosaFrom the AP story from 2004: “Sosa missed Sunday’s game in San Diego after two violent sneezes brought on back spasms.” At the time, though, Sosa was renown for never really getting on the DL. Perhaps, in hindsight, he just recovered from injury faster than most, since he was using steroids. I remember never even considering anything of the such when I watched him and McGwire battle it out against each other for the home run lead. Ah, glorious naiveté, how sweet thee be.

7. Hunter Pence Walks Through Glass Door

Hunter+Pence+Houston+Astros+Photo+Day+6LMInSkiibElIn ’08, Houston Astros outfielder Hunter Pence missed part of spring training because he walked through a sliding glass door that he thought was open. He and a bud were hanging out in the hot tub, when Pence got up to go inside and take a leak (and let’s be real, probably grab more beers). However, he ended up walking straight through a sliding glass door and getting sliced up on his hand and knee. Guess spring training isn’t really that grueling, anyway.

6. Adam Eaton Stabs Himself in Stomach

Poor Adam Eaton. A year after making it to the show, he ends up in the hospital after trying to open a DVD with a pocketknife. It was 2001, and Eaton was desperate to open a dual disc DVD copy of “Backdraft” and “Happy Gilmore”. Tasked with wiry plastic, Easton whipped out his not-so-trusty blade his grandpappy had given him for Christmas, and proceeded to stab his gut in an attempt to open the package.  He wasn’t severely hurt, but he did have to miss his start.

5. Brian Anderson’s Iron Jaw

brian andersonBack in 1998, Arizona Pitcher Brian Anderson burned his face after testing the hotness of an iron with the side of his jaw. Yes, you heard me right, this grown man was not sure if his iron was hot enough to put a proper crease in his pleated Dockers, so he decided to first test the appliance on his human skin…He also claimed to get some “ghost elbow” that year from propping his arm behind the headrest of a taxicab.

4. Roger Craig Cuts Hand on Bra Strap

brastrapIn the nineties, former pitcher Roger Craig was doing a bang up job as manager for the San Francisco Giants. One day, he came to the bullpen with a cut to his hand but was able to tough it out and ride the pine while his team played. When he pressed about the injury, Craig was nonplussed and simply stated that he had cut it on a bra strap. He never specified whether he was a suave Casanova or a part-time cross-dresser. You be the judge.

3. Brandon Inge Pillow Fluffing Incident

wkgcx_inge_706625In 2008, former Detroit Tigers third baseman, Brandon Inge had to sit out with a strained oblique after attempting to fluff the absolute, ever-loving hell out of his daughter’s stubbornly stiff pillow. At least it’s better than shaken baby syndrome, right?  Here’s to hoping he can find some more suitable furniture for his loved ones.

2. Nolan Ryan Bit by Coyote

Nolan Ryan IntroIn 1985, the strong-armed pitcher was bitten on the left hand while reaching into a dog pen that housed the pups that he had rescued and housed. Typical for a guy, who many saw as the toughest man to ever play to sport, to house wild animals as charity to Mother Nature.

1. Clarence Blethen Bites Himself in the Ass

Clarence-BlethenIn 1933 (or 1923) Clarence Blethen was up to bat for the Red Sox. As part of his menacing personality, he removed his teeth, put them in his back pocket, and shot a gummy smile to the pitcher on the mound. He wound up getting a single off the poor guy, and when he got to first, he shot the pitcher another evil grin before he took off for second on the pitch. When he slid into second, though, he was suddenly less concerned with whether he was safe or out and more concerned with what just happened to his poop chute! Yup, ‘ol Clarence’s false chompers came back to bite him in the ass. The injury was officially listed as a “leg laceration,” but legend has it that the injury to his nether regions haunted him for the rest of his days, and he never really played the same again.


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