Where Have All the QB’s Gone?

sad brees

I’m currrently 2-0 in my I-actually-know-these-people-in-real-life league and 1-1 in my I-have-no-clue-who-any-of-these-people-are-except-for-one-guy-who-invited-me-to-join-to-fill-the-last-remaining-spot league. But the bigger story this week is what to do if your QB is working out so far.

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Back to Reality: Fantasy Basketball and Joblessness


I got laid off last week.

After two years of dutiful service, the company that hired me 12 days into a 90-day internship out of college let me go. It’s cool, though, ’cause I trained the Filipinos who will be taking over my projects for them.

I thought a college degree would mean that I wouldn’t go through stuff like this, struggling to pay the bills, but I did get an art degree, so maybe I should’ve expected this. I’ve filed for unemployment, and that looks like a good deal, but in the back of my mind, I’m still a bit anxious. I haven’t not had a job since I was eighteen.

But so far, the week that has followed  has been glorious–amazing weather, a sense of freedom, and some quality jobless bonding with ma lady, who was also laid off from her job recently. We’ve been able to hangout during the day and fill out applications together, which definitely makes it easier.

When I started this blog, it was to show how difficult it can be to maintain a real working life with a fantasy sports life. Well, now that has been made a bit easier. Honestly, fantasy basketball is probably keeping me sane right now. I’m not one of those people who can sit around the house all day, especially when it’s sunny outside. I like to have a sense of purpose, and I thrive on structure, so not having a daily career to attend to has left me playing guitar for hours a day and wishing I could jog more.

I’ve tried to look at this as more of an opportunity than a loss. I loved my workplace, my bosses, and coworkers, but obviously that doesn’t save your position from the financial pitfalls of the higher ups. Anyway, I’ve taken this chance to better myself in a healthy way. I’ve started keeping track of my calories as well as increasing my miles per week running.

I also had the chance to increase my winning streak in our FBB league to six games, but three crucial moves ended up being my demise this week:

week 13 bball

I’ve had a slew of PG’s, and as a result, I’ve had to make a decision about which one to sit. I let go of Brandon Knight, who got 31, sat Tony Parker, who got 35, and sat Kyle Lowry, who netted 42 points. Definitely could’ve won, but my roster moves once again came back to bite me. I ended up picking up Markieff Morris, who has proved a very valuable tool over the last week, though.

So, even though I dropped my first game in six weeks, I’m still feeling confident in my squad. And I’m playing my girlfriend this week…


I plan on reclaiming my throne as Grand Supreme Leader of the Worsham Apartment

as long as we can still afford the rent.

Literally Literate Fantasy Football Playoff Preview

trophy6The only thing that stands between the four playoff teams and the championship belt is four weeks of football.

In what I’m sure the NFL Network is billing as the battle of the century, two god-awful…football teams? face off tonight when the Houston Texans take on the Jacksonville Jaguars. Not a whole lot to affect the playoffs just yet in this game, although Andre Johnson, Ben Tate, and MJD could help out fantasy lineups.

Here’s a peak at the match ups this week:

playoffs week oneI’m really not sure why ESPN puts team 5 against the next best team in the consolation bracket (kinda defies all bracketology), but whatever, I’m still committed to finish strong!

Here’s the match ups in the winner’s bracket:

playoffs wk 1 game 1

4) Spacin’ Vaders vs. 1) [Br]eaking [Br]adshaw

Really hard to go against [Br]eaking [Br]adshaw here, as he’s been thoroughly dismantling teams this year, but if Vaders can avoid injury, I could see a playoff week one upset. Losing twice in a row is something [Br]adshaw doesn’t do, though. I’m pretty pumped to see this one pan out.

3) Trophy Wife vs. 2) Cousin Vinny

3) Trophy Wife vs. 2) Cousin Vinny

The second match up is a tough one for me to call, since I’m a real life fan of both participants. Withholding personal feelings, I’ve got Cousin Vinny running away with this one, but with Josh Gordon on her side, Trophy Wife is possible of anything!

Vote now for who you think will prevail in week one of the Literally Literate Fantasy Football League:

Tuesday Morning Relief: The 5 Stages of Not Making the Fantasy Playoffs

hopelessI missed the playoffs in the Literally Literate FFL this year by 4 pts.

A Ledarius Green TD could have sealed it for me. Would have clinched with a Michael Floyd trash time reception. If Keenan Allen didn’t fumble and Delanie Walker didn’t get concussed, I’d be sittin’ pretty right now.


Instead, I’m playing for fifth. And since I finished fifth, here are the 5 signs of grief commonly discussed in psychology.

Step 1. Denial

This stage includes feelings of shock, numbness, and disbelief. When loss first comes, most of us have a hard time believing “this is really happening.”

Dude! I put everything I f__king had into this season! This was gonna be my comeback year, where I went from last to first. I mean, I was at least in the running for the playoffs! I actually did analysis this summer and kept spreadsheets of my draft and performance this year. I made f__king rankings from scratch each week to help evaluate my competitors. THIS CAN’T BE REAL!

Step 2. Anger

Anger can present itself in a variety of ways—anger at your loved one, at others, at God, at the world, at yourself.  And anger can be a difficult emotion to cope with.

F__k this s__t! F__k Darren Sproles. F__k Andrew Luck. F__k these fake ass helmets and all these concussions.

F__k the Packers. F__k the refs in the Washington game. F__k Steven Jackson. F__k Frank Gore.

And a BIG F__K YOU to Stevie Johnson!

Step 3. Bargaining

With bargaining, there’s a sense that we just want life back to the way it used to be. We wish we could go back in time, catch the illness sooner, see something we didn’t see. We may also feel guilty, focusing on “If only…”.

Four points?! FOUR POINTS?! I seriously coulda had this! I had three chances to seal the deal. Shoulda popped on Bobby Rainey that one week. I picked up Michael Floyd and didn’t start him, whyyyyyy? How could Alfred Morris get absolutely NO second half yards? Shane Vereen for Zac Stacy woulda put me over the top.

Step 4. Depression

Eventually grief will enter on a deeper level, bringing with it intense feelings of emptiness and sadness. We feel like we don’t care about much of anything and wish life would just hurry up and pass on by. Getting out of bed can be a huge burden, exhaustion and apathy can set in, and we may begin to wonder, “what’s the point?” for pretty much everything.

What’s the point of finishing the season? The very fact that a 6-7 team made it in ahead of me proves that this whole sport is absolute luck and bulls__t. I was last place the year before and fifth this year while only winning one more game. Why even bother obsessing with something that isn’t even based on skill? Why even make roster moves? Who cares anymore? F__k this season, man.

Step 5. Acceptance

The experience of “depression” is what leads to “acceptance”. Many people mistakenly believe that “acceptance” means we are “cured” or “all right” with the loss. But this isn’t the case at all. The loss will forever be a part of us, though we will feel it more some times than others. Acceptance simply means we are ready to try and move on—to accommodate ourselves to this world without our loved one.

Well, I did make a few good calls. Julius Thomas and Zac Stacy were nice. I picked up Alshon Jeffery but ended up giving him away. I was the first to hype up Justin Blackmon, who was solid while sober. I jumped on Keenan Allen and got a solid month or so of top ten play outta him. No one really saw Frank Gore being so solid at his age. I don’t know, I really wanted a shot at the belt this year, and all along I felt confident about my chances. Last year I got last, but only missed the playoffs by two games, and this year, I miss out by a mere 4 points. In all seriousness, I didn’t achieve my ultimate goal of the fantasy playoffs this year, but I did make incredible progress. Time to review my season and prepare for next year. Not before I beat the snot outta the consolation bracket, though!