Tuesday Morning Relief: Let’s Go Streaking!

originalPhase one of my balls out quest to go on a winning streak is coming to fruition. With 8 weeks left in the fantasy basketball season, if I can keep the streak alive, I’ve got more than a fighting chance! Right now I sit at 6-5 after wining 4 straight match ups. This section of the schedule is brutal, though, but I did beat one of the top dogs last week, just barely.

bball week 11I’ve tossed a lot of talent out in the last week or two, including Jimmy Butler, Carlos Boozer, and Ryan Anderson. But now I have a couple spots to play with, and I’ve been fluidly filling and replacing them for added games during the week. Plus, this has allowed me to key on players who are hot at the moment, including Darren Collison, Randy Foye, and Kendall Marshall.

This week I’m playing a good friend, and although I really like him, I definitely want to avenge myself of the curse of DeAndre Jordan, who he swooped up after I dropped him for Spencer Hawes before the season started. After one day, I’m up a bit, but I’ve definitely gotta be on my game the next month or so if I aim to make the playoffs.

bball week 11 score


FBB Week 5 Review: A Fairy Tale of Sorts

redemptionRedemption is oh so sweet. And never is the fruit finer than when you smear your girlfriend in some fantasy sports.

I became a God this weekend.

Being exalted to Grand Supreme Leader of the Worsham Apartment is a daydream I’ve often reveled in, during reminiscent moments of silence, pondering what the law of the land would be like if I, a mere mortal of a boyfriend, could somehow demonstrate to the Council my supreme knowledge and unwavering commitment to the mental battlefield of fantasy sport.

For far too long, Maiden Gwartney hath proposeth that she was indeed the immaculate receptor of the true knowledge of fantasy sport, residing quite humbly at the hand of The Great Matthew Berry. But, alas, by the grace of the ancient Scepter of Lineup Changes, so eloquently bequeathed to me upon the Mount of Shooting Percentages by the Great Matthew Berry himself, I was able to defeat the mighty Maiden Gwartney in a head-to-head battle to decide ultimate rule over the citizenry of all of the Worsham Apartment–us and our cat Rachael.

Not actually us. Just pretend I'm Jesus.

Not actually us. Just pretend I’m Jesus.

Victory did not come easily, as Maiden Gwartney absolutely refused to go down early. With two days of games left to play, Maiden Gwartney regaled thine ears with farces of a fanciful nature, reminding yours truly, after a few sips of a mimosa at no where close to brunch time, how she would ultimately best me in our competition for the eternal love of the fantasy god The Great Matthew Berry.

“Shenanigans!” I would cry, in a desperate attempt to trounce her ill-conceived and quite incendiary notions that she at all stood a chance.  We all know that fortune favors the one with the Scepter of Lineup Changes.

And on the seventh day, I rested as my nine players averaged 21 fantasy points, and the Maiden Gwartney was once again toppled in her bid for apartment supremacy.


bball wk 5 results

FBB Week 4 Review: Not Much Patience Left



Four weeks into the fantasy basketball season, and I’m on a  three-game losing skid. Not exactly how I pictured this season going so far.

I feel like a have a good squad, and had Spencer Hawes not sat out this week, I could’ve pulled out a W. But, alas, it wasn’t meant to be, and I fell once again.

bb wk 4 review


Add to this the fact that I’m playing my girlfriend this week and her team, which has been the top scorer twice already (Spoiler Alert: I drafted for her). But I have learned from her team that I should take it easy with my lineup choices. I’ve tried not to go crazy just yet, but if I lose again, I may have to start clearing the bench and filling the lineup just to get W’s stacked up.

bb week 4 standings


Even with my early season debacle, I’m still sitting in sixth place, so the world hasn’t ended just yet. I can’t really put a thumb on what I’m doing wrong just yet (I have the most points against so far, so that doesn’t help), but hopefully the Law of Averages will come into effect, and I can grab some victories soon. If not, then I’m just gonna give myself up to the Curse of DeAndre Jordan and hope not to get last.

Tuesday Morning Relief: This is What Losing Feels Like

kayAunt Kay’s place was where we could always get away with anything. We would play street hockey in the den, sending slapshots into the drywall behind our makeshift goals.

We’d eat ice cream and drink Coke till our hearts’ content.

The adults would lend us cash to buy in to the poker tournament in the dining room late at night. We’d wait till they all got sauced and end up with all their money, paying them back in about two hands.

My cousin Mitchell and I would perform skits as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while all my relatives looked on in mock amazement.

Aunt Kay’s place was where Mitchell and my sister Twyla convinced me to eat a handful of dirt when I was eight, making me believe it would give me the strength to punch through walls.

It didn’t.

Aunt Kay’s was where I was always amazed at the amount of Christmas presents.

It’s where I killed a water moccasin.

Rode my first ATV.

Was the greatest basketball player to ever live (I’m kinda tall for a Worsham).

But most importantly, it was where I spent almost every Thanksgiving.

And every year, everyone from my dad’s side of the family would congregate in Ardmore, Oklahoma, to meet up, shoot the shit, and see how many new members of the family we had. And every year, we’d give thanks for the things we had, stuff our faces with meat and potatoes, then go back to watching more football.

Growing up, grace was really just a momentary sentiment, simply delaying me from scarfing down too much pie, but as you get older, you start to truly ponder on what it is that your thankful for.

And this year, I’m thankful that Aunt Kay is still around.

She was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier this year and has recently been going through chemotherapy. She’s worked as a hair stylist for as long as I can remember, and having no insurance has really put her family in a bind. So, for the first weekend in November, her family organized a fundraiser to help her out with her bills.

Knowing how much I’ve always loved her and how many amazing memories she has helped me to create, it was pretty painful, not knowing what to expect when I got there. But she looked as great as ever, and we helped raise some serious dough. I bought some raffle tickets and bid on some silent auction items. They even made sold some sweet koozies!

Then I went home afterward, just hoping for the best.

Fast forward to this week, and I needed some fantasy wins. I have a shot at the playoffs in football, but needed to produce in my last few games. Basketball was starting off terribly, and I had already suffered my first loss.

By Sunday, I had already lost my second basketball game, and it looked like I was on my way to losing in football as well.

I needed a walk. So I headed outside and took a stroll to the mail box. I know, it was Sunday, but I really don’t check the mail that often.

Inside was a thank you card from my aunt, for going to her fundraiser.

I was going to bitch this week about losing in both fantasy football and basketball, but honestly, in retrospect, it’s the least of my real life worries, and her thank you card cemented that fact in me.

Indeed, losing in fantasy can be gut-wrenching. I passed up an available Bobby Rainey in our league because I had the strange notion that somehow Darren Sproles was back forreallz.

But no.

And in basketball, the curse of DeAndre Jordan continues to rear its ugly head, as the owner who picked him up after I dropped him beat me soundly.

All of the agony of defeat–the torment of knowing the outstanding possibilities that were within your grasp, but are now gone forever–can be absolutely mentally deafening. I’ve never replayed a possible waiver move in mind as much as I have Bobby Rainey. Coulda had him. Coulda won this week over the top seed. Coulda secured my own fantasy destiny.

But alas, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Fantasy sports are no longer a decent distraction in my life, and are my main obsession at the moment. So to know that you made a mistake that could have been avoided is really tough. But losses like this week really help to keep your obsession with fantasy sports in check.

Losses like these help put into perspective the truly important things in your life.

Losses like this week let you know that, no matter how dominant or incredibly sucky you are at betting on human athletes’ performances, the pillars of loved ones will always be there in your real life.

To find out more about Aunt Kay’s journey or to help her by donating, visit Momma Kay’s Facebook Page.

FBB Week 2 Review

sad-faceThis is my sad face.

Week two saw me get my first loss. After going 17-3 last year and finishing second, I was definitely hoping to make it longer before I got my first Big L. My girlfriend got the high score in the league again, and I’m seriously regretting letting go of DeAndre Jordan early in the season.

Here’s how week two went down:

wk 2 results bball

This week’s been a little better to me, and two days in, I’m leading in points:

wk 3 bball

Here’s my lineup thus far:

wk 3 lineup