Tuesday Morning Relief: Week One Preview

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Check out our week one match ups for the Literally Literate FFL and vote for who you think will be the victor!

Click to enlarge photos.







Humpday Horoscopes: Peering into the Fantasy Future


For this first installment of amazing telekinetic predictions, I use my ESP skills to gaze into the maddening abyss that is the fantasy football future and return back here in normal space time with some gems of information on players who will return to former glory this year.


Matthew Stafford (QB)

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After an 80 point decline from his 2011 to his 2012 seasons, one thing is still for certain: they love, love, love to throw the ball in Detroit. Stafford routinely leads  the league in throws, and no one sees that changing anytime soon. The return of Ryan Broyles could open up defenses, who usually only worry about Calvin Johnson. The addition of Reggie Bush should also help out Stafford, as Bush continues to be one of the best receiving RB’s, right behind Darren Sproles. This season Expect to see Stafford in the top 5 QB’s.

Tony Romo (QB)


No doubt most everyone and their dog blames Romo for the lack of productivity on offense for the Cowboys, but he actually posts amazing numbers despite having almost every offensive weapon hurt at some point every year. The Cowboys and Romo truly have something to prove this year, and it’s time to put up or shut up. If the Boys can stay healthy, expect Romo to creep into the top 7 QB ranks.

Dwayne Bowe (WR)


Adding Alex Smith to the Kansas City Chiefs roster has bolstered a lot of praise for the output of the oft-hyped Bowe. Many FF owners have been waiting for this prospect to finally eclipse 1,200 yards and 7 touchdowns, only to be disappointed yet again. With a new coach and a QB who can sling lasers, I can see Bowe having a career year, when I look into my crystal ball this year.

Larry Fitzgerald (WR)


Ol’ Fitzy had one of his worst years ever in 2012, but like Bowe, many are hoping that a new coach and QB can somehow resurrect his career. I see very good things in Fitzgerald upcoming season, including his return to the top 10 in WR categories. Carson Palmer is no Godsend, but he will do for a receiver who can pluck just about any ball from his near vicinity.

Steven Jackson (RB)


Let’s face it. No one likes playing for the Rams. They have great talent, but no foundation with which to exhibit that talent. Now that Jackson is on the high-flying Atlanta Falcons offense, it’s not crazy to think that their offensive numbers could somehow be even gaudier. Jackson has been considered a has-been for quite some time now, but my powers of telepathy are telling me that he will have a season for the ages! I’ve got him pegged as a top 10 kinda guy.

DeMarco Murray (RB)


Confidence in Murray’s game is rapidly dwindling. In fact, in ESPN standard scoring, he is slotted just above Danny Woodhead and Vick Ballard, two backups, and just below Willis Mcgahee, who doesn’t even play for a team. This is shenanigans, I say! As mentioned previously, if the Boys don’t win, they get fired this year, in my mind, so it’s now or never for a guy who has crazy upside. I’m calling top 12 stats this year in the RB department.

Adios, San Antonio: Why the Spurs are Done For

I was rooting for the Spurs last night. I hate the Heat with all of my young, naive heart. Because deep in the recesses of my soul, I believe that good will always triumph over evil–that no matter what hardships are faced, no matter the slings and arrows of defeat–that in the end, the good guy will win.

Not anymore.

There are two reasons why the Spurs lost last night: free throws and Gregg Popovich.

The free throws are easy to explain. Hit them and you’ve won a championship, yet they missed 7 as a team, 3 or 4 of them during critical junctures in the NBA Finals Game 6 last night. The hard part to explain is the mental three-ring circus that head coach Gregg Popovich put on–a ringmaster leading bumbling grizzly bears on trikes to the basket.

With the game on the line, ol’ Pop refused to take Manu Ginobli out of the game. Manu, a man who had 9 points and 8 turnovers. A man who almost had the double double stat line from hell. A man who has had one great game this entire playoffs, when his legacy as a man, who puts an orange thing in an orange thing, was on the line.

Then, on the last play of the game, ol’ Pop puts in Duncan (who he had been routinely taking out, which lead to multiple Heat offensive rebounds) and Splitter. Down 3 points and needing a three-pointer, and he decides not to put in…oh, I don’t know, maybe 5 three-point shooters!

Popovich has been hailed as one of the most cerebral coaches of his era, but last night showed how confidence can lead to calamity. After Manu had a great game as a starter, Pop road that Euro turnover train til it derailed the entire franchise. Those 8 turnovers from Manu were so stupid. Let me explain.

Manu would take the ball at the top of the key. Duncan would pick for him and roll to the basket, and Manu would pass him the ball. Very simple basketball for most.

Well, easy for defenders as well. The Heat quickly realized that this was the only play Manu was actually capable–well, I take that back–not capable of making. Every time he tried this pick-n-pass, he got picked off. Not once during the game did Manu make a clean pass. But it turned out that Manu had saved his greatest turnover for overtime:

Yeah, Manu, taking on 4 defenders by yourself, who have proven to have an eye for the ball, is such a sound decision. Why Popovich left this guy in I feel has mostly to do with their career relationship. So, you’ve worked with a guy for over a decade, so what? It would be a lot easier to explain to Manu how you sat him in game 6 when you have a championship ring to give him.

This was by far the worst coaching job in this chess match of a series. The games have gone back and forth the whole time. Many people cite the fact that Miami hasn’t lost two games in a row since the first of this year. But they seem to forget that the Heat haven’t won two games in a row in 13 games now.

Still, I don’t think the Spurs can recover from such a loss. Knowing you played well enough to have won, but still lost, is a hard pill to swallow.

Thanks, Pops.

Thanksgiving Day Special

Happy Turkey Day!

The one time of the year when your usually-over-the-top addictions of carbs and football seem normal. But with the possibility of inter-familial battles on the horizon and three games on tap for today, you’re gonna wanna set that lineup early.

Pats vs. Jets:

Much like turkey, the New York Jets are bound to make you sleepy. At least they’re playing against the high-flying Pats–that should keep you from snoozing. The Jets’ RB situation is muddled  right now with Bilal Powell and Shonn Greene splitting carries out of the backfield. Oh, and of course there’s the QB situation. Personally, I love Tebow, and playing him on Thanksgiving Day is just about as American as it can get! The Pats have a weak D, so if New York can put together anything worth writing home about, this could turn into a close one. With The Gronk out at TE, look for Julian Edelman to have another big game, along with Wes Welker, catching passes out of the slot. The Jets don’t stand a chance, but it’s always a treat to watch these bumbling idiots try not to self-destruct each week. Tune in for laughs! Pats 37–Jets 16

Texans vs. Lions:

Just like your drunk uncle at the holidays, this game is bound to surprise! Think about it. The Houston Texans got scorched in their last game against the Jags, and Calvin Johnson and Matthew Stafford seem to finally be on the same page. If the Texans D is as bad as last game, this has shootout written all over it. The Lions’ D is nothing special, and Matt Schaub finally found Andre Johnson in week 11, after an entire season of mediocrity. Two exposed D’s and two high-flying offenses–possibly more exciting than the Jets…possibly. Texans 27–Lions 23

Dem Boys vs. Dem Skins:

Your all-time Thanksgiving Day arm wrestling tally pales in comparison to the hatred manifested between Dallas and Washington. This rivalry goes way way back, and I have a feeling Dallas will finally show up for a game. They know all the hype RGIII has been getting this year, and the Dallas D has had a “bend but don’t break” philosophy that could easily be ramped up to counteract all the action on the Redskins’ offense. Dallas, however, is dreadful at home this year. Very evenly matched–Romo may be the difference. Cowboys 21–Redskins 23